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There are many times when I wish I had the authority to arrest someone or hand out summonses. Just because people annoy me. Not YOU, gentle reader, but the people on the subways, in traffic or on the streets.
Many years ago, before The Husband actually became a NYC police officer, he and I took a NY State court officer test. This was a written test and if one passed the test it would be followed by a physical and psychological test. We laughed because we KNEW no one in their right mind would give me a gun.
I got a really high score and was called immediately. I didn’t go because, well, let’s face it
A. I probably wouldn’t have passed the psychological;
B. No one would (or should) give me a gun and;
C. I really don’t look good in dark blue polyester.
The Husband finally took the NYPD test and the rest is history. Which brings me to last night’s dog walking conversation.
As Charlie and I crossed the street while walking the dogs, some idiot in a big, fancy BMW SUV made an illegal u-turn and almost ran us down. We both said if we could hand out summonses….! This reminded Charlie of the time he was speeding down the West Side Highway (which is not a highway it’s just a street with a lot of lights frivolously named a highway) when he was pulled over. The following conversation took place:
COP: Did you realize you were doing a zillion miles an hour in a 30 mph zone?
CHARLIE: (pulling his response from a place where the sun doesn’t shine) Didn’t you see that car that was chasing me?
COP: Yeah, right, whatever. Here’s your ticket. You can dispute it if you like.
(The light bulb when off in Charlie’s head. (And because he had nothing better to do.) I’m going to dispute this ticket!)
Several months later:
JUDGE: Were you speeding on the West Side Highway?
CHARLIE: There was a car chasing me!
JUDGE (to Cop): Did he say there was a car chasing him when you pulled him over?
JUDGE: Case dismissed!
We laughed and laughed.
Well, that was a long story to talk about the above drawing. It was part of the drawing class I took with The Sister and The Nephew. The assignment was to do a 30 minute drawing of 3 drinking vessels. I was so focused on getting the glasses correct that I didn’t pay attention to the table. Once I looked at it from afar I realized those 3 drinking vessels were going to slide right off the table. What was I thinking? Where was a cop when I needed one? He could have said “Stop right there ma’am, you’re going to fast.” My response? Didn’t you see that clock that was chasing me?